Tim's Really F*cking Long RBF Interview Part 1

As Promised heres my Reel Big Fish interview. Whereever there is a link that is an actual sound bite from the interview(somethings are even funnier when you hear them yourself) I have to warn you though it's not your average interview, it's going to offend alot of people, and so many people came and went during the interview I ended up asking alot of the same questions. Basicly its not a "real" interview perse. What ended up happening was that we placed a tape recorder and started talking. Since it was so informal and long I decided that I would slpit it into parts. So Bascily every day or two I'll add a new part ok? I hope to put the pictures sometimes next week thouhg. So with-out further ado the RBF interview.

Dan(Pointing to Andrew & Aaron who are doing another interview): Hey, those guys are all fags.
Tim(laughs): O.K., which brings me to my first question. Why dont we conquer some internet rumors...
Dan: Here we go, first one.
Tim: You guys really dont eat each others balls, do you?
Dan: No, well I have never eaten balls.
Tim: No one in the band specificaily?
Dan: I Dan Regan have never eaten balls.(Yells across room)Andrew eats balls though.
Andrew(Also yelling):Fuck you.
Tim(Laughing): Oh does he?
Dan(Still yelling): Brian(stage manager) eats balls. He's not in the band.(stops yelling)
Tim: But then he doesn't count.
Dan: But he showed everybody how to eat balls.
Tim: Oh ok well cool then , because thats a skill everybody needs to know.
Dan: He's behind the ball eating.
Dan: If you want to know about ball eating and Reel Big fish, talk to Brian "Pure Evil" Clairemont.
Brian: Hey your dad has a big mouth.
Dan(Laughing): Um, thats because, uh uh um...
Tim: Witty comeback, witty comeback..
Dan: He, he um (Laughs again)..Thats cause he's got to fit you and..
Tim: Ok theres this website called "the site Reel Big Fish doesnt want you to see", do you guys really not want them(the fans) to see that site?
Dan: Which one is that?
Tim: This is the one with really old yearbook pictures
Dan: Yeah
Tim: Do you really not want them to see that site?
Dan: Uh, as long as the pictures are from high school, then thats ok - for me
Tim: And not the shower?
Dan: Well..like if the pictures are like from jr high school, then that not fair though. If people drag up pictures from jr.high,I mean its jr high man, you can't hold that against anybody, you know what I mean, yes that shouldnt be allowed,I dont know I think its only been high school pictures on that site though so I'm ok with that. I freely admit I was a hippie, with long hair and tie-dye, and that kind of stuff. I have no problems with that.(Yells)Aaron though was pretty ugly back then.(stops yelling).
Tim: I dont know Aarons picture kinda looked like Jesus Christ to me.
Dan: Yeah he uh yeah his hair was wire, like greasy wire, even when he washed it man. Thats what I heard anyway, from all my friends.
Tim: You dont have any friends.
Dan: No,no I don't
Tim: Except for me
Dan: Except for Tim
Tim: Ok I've known you for two years now....
Dan: Yea.
Tim: So I can ask the question, why?
Dan: Whhhhhhhy?
Tim: Why?
Dan: Well you know man uh? What can you do? Some guys have all the luck.
Tim: Good answer
Dan: Thats the good answer. "Some guys have all the luck"
Tim: If you were in grad school? And some one offered you 1,200 dollars a month..
Dan: ..To grade papers...
Tim(laughing): ...To grade papers, on top of a full ride scholarship..
Dan: ..would I quit the band?...
Tim: ..Would you quit the band?
Dan: Um wow that's uh (laughs) I'd consider it. I havent completed enogh school to go to grad school yet. So i'd really be over stepping my bounds. If they gave me fours years to go to college-college, and then go to grad school, then I'd do it, but I dont know.
Tim: What would you study?
Dan: What would I study? Thats the problem man.
Tim: Just major in everything.
Dan: I'd bum them out and major in philosophy or something. They'd be like we are going to give you a scholarship and give you money to grade papers and you are just going to major in philosophy? I'd say yeah so i can play trombone
Tim: Did you guys really break a toliet when you were recording turn the radio off?
Dan: Andrew did.
Tim: Andrew did?
Dan: Yeah we were uh, uh were were in the middle of recording and we uh in the middle of recording and we had to do some shows in northeren Calif. So we got a motel room right by the recording studio. We were going to leave from there to go to the shows. So we're at this motel room adn we firgured it was Thursday night and we were about to leave on a weekend tour, we should have White Trash Thursday. Like I shaved a mohawk.No wait we were going to Utah thats why. We were going to Utah so I figured that i should shave a mohawk.I had this big bleached mohawk for like a weekend. So we drank beers and got shit faced. Andrew was like uh(luaghs)the toilet, you know how you kinda jiggle the handle?
Tim: Yeah.
Dan: Andrew kept jiggling the handle and nothing happend..so he punched it..and shattered the whole tank of the toilet of the hotel room.
Tim(laughing): Did you guys just run and check out and say oh yeah the toilets broken?
Dan: No, Andrew went out and bought some superglue and put it back together. He superglued the broken porcerlian pieces, and then he tried to rub soap, to fill in the cracks, to maybe like cover it up, it took them 3 days to charge it to the Mojo records account, but it took three days
Tim: Toothpaste works.
Dan: Toothpaste works? Yeah see he didnt think of that. Yeah that was exciting, Scott tried to beat himself up that night too.
Tim: Because of the toilet or..
Dan: No he just was uh drunk and pissed and he started beating himself up.
Tim: I remember Scott being drunk and calling my job and asking for a raise.
Dan: I remeber that.
Tim: Which is funny because they said yes and then two weeks later my job went out of business.
Dan(laughs): Wow
Tim: So in my mind, I always think that if Scott hadn't called...
Dan(laughs): Yea then that wouldnt be it. Yeah he just tried to beat himself up. I was uh..wht was I doing? I had broken up with my girlfriend. and she insisted that I call her for some reason. So I'm standing outside some corner in Santa Monica with a mohawk, calling an ex-gilfriend. thats all I remeber from that night. Then I got back and found out about the toilet was broken. What was weird was that in the other room we had, um Aaron and uh um G. Scott Barret(Rbf's old stage manager) had shredded 3 phone books and tried to wall-paper the walls with them. And that didn't so they just rearanged all the furniture. We don't usally destroy hotel rooms we figured that since we were recording an album that we would try to get some early publicity and didn't work
Tim: I remeber Scott Barrett, what happend to Scott?
Dan: He just got tired of touring. you know that gets to you after a while and he runs the are of vee website and you can see jsut about every music video in the universe. And it was getting to the point where that was so big, he had to actually go home and run it at home instead of his various minions taking care of it
Tim: I remember the first time I met Scott I boiught the Skatanic shirt and some buttons and it was liek 12.00 or something and i gave him a 20 and he gave me my change andhe was like the buttons are on the shirt and Went outside and there were no buttons on the shirt.
Dan: (Laughs)
Tim: I talked to him a few months later and he was like I love that trick
Dan(luaghs): Oh my gosh
Tim: He felt bad about it, after the history between us..
Dan: Awww, He's a funny guy.
Tim: Next question, when my hair grows out is this going to look cool.

Dan: Oh, yeah if I could grow hair like that I would..I'm so (jealous)..you're so lucky. Yeah it's going to be Fucking Rad.I've wanted to grow my hair. butg I go this genetic problem. I Blame my parents.
Tim: With your hat off and that beard you kinda look like the Evil Tavis. You know how on Star Trek they would always have the Evil Spock with the beard
Dan(laughs): With the beard
Tim: So yeah you look like the evil Tavis with the beard so I'm going to take a picture og you with that hat off and glasses on.
Dan: You want me to make a Tavis Face? hey that's a nice camera.

Tim: This isn't my camera. It's a friend of mine I was like can I take your camera in a club in a dangerous part of town?
Dan(In a hillbily voice): Well sure here you go hu ha. This is my evil Evil Tavis face (growls)
Tim: I'll give you 5 bucks if you scream tonight I'm evil Tavis.
Dan(yells): I am the evil Tavis, all I gotta do is remember it (laughs) give me five dollars to remember it, and I'll glady do it.
Tim: I'll yell something like hey evil Tavis or something.
Dan: He'll think I'm raggin on him and get all parinoid.
Tim: Just be like tim told me to do it, it should be cool
Dan(luaghs): It's was his idea man I dont know whats going on.
Tim: Since when did you listen to Tim.
Dan(laughing): That's o.k Tavis is harmless.
Tim: Please dont hurt me Tavis, Not that I don't like Tavis..he's cool.
Dan: He'll logifcalfy you to death

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